Once upon a time and space in this time-space continuum known as the back patio of the Lone Star Saloon in 1992 I was hanging out with Tucker and Puddles and Charlie and those two white-haired bears from Sacto. We were sitting on the weatherworn benches on a brilliant SF day sucking down brews smoking doobies and chewing up peanuts by the handful all the gorgeous afternoon long.

We unraveled a thread of pseudocosmology and the origins of the Universe and how the Kosmos seems to exist in the form of an egg and how the eternal process of devolution-evolution is apparently ovoid. I said that I believe that the point of the arc that crosses over from the expansion of the Universe to its contraction and ulitmate reabsorption is virtually imperceptible and that after it collapses back onto itself the Universe will then remain in seed form. Tucker pulled his pud as usual and said, Yeah but can you prove it? And all I could say was Uhhh and pass the joint around. Then Charlie scratching his shaggy beard said, Yeah but can you dance to it? At which point we all giggled like schoolboys and changed the subject and I got up to take a much-needed leak.

In the pisser which was completely dark when I walked in because my eyes hadn’t adjusted I stepped up to the trough and unbuttoned my jeans and was getting ready to unburden the tanker of my bladder when I felt but couldn’t quite make out optically some guy down on his knees at my feet fumbling at my fly whispering Don’t waste it man it is so fucking precious and I want every last. . . and before he finished his sentence my cock was engulfed in this incredible warm moist silkiness.

Rather than strain to see the outer situation I closed my eyes and imagined myself on an expanding rocketship named kundalini’s Eggdrop riding Dr. Strangelove-style through the deep and velvety thickening universe propelled by the steady flow of my urine into the bearded mouth of God. The stars and Milky Way flew whizzing by and my pissflow accelerated, my rocket growing to three times its length soft. The furfaced Creator cocksucker was pushing on my bladder and pulling on my balls and I realized that he was actually trying to extract my cum by sucking it out through my piss first.

This went on for aeons riding the wave of my eternal pissstream and filling the Universe with my void. At one point almost pissed out completely the flow began slowing down at the same time my cock reached almost its maximum density and mass and my ethereal body felt it was approaching the top of a rollercoaster and then entering that chaotic still fulcrumlike space of balance on the arc-tip between dimensions I held my breath and I couldn’t tell if it or I or he was coming or going or cumming but I could perceive the slightest microswitch inside my internal plumbing where I moved from creation and maintenence into dissolution. The forward flow had not stopped while my urinary valve drew closed and my spermatismatic tube opened and began its fiery jetting propulsion back toward its source. And the Godsucker kept accepting the new fuel pouring out from the engine as my world-construction collapsed rapidly behind me as I hurtled through solar systems colliding left and right.

I opened my eyes to keep myself from falling entirely in the bottomhole of the Kosmos or the floordrain of the john but all I could view were suns and galaxies burning brilliantly contrasting against the relative blackness of the ovoid void. So while the Godmouth slowly ascended off my cock extracting the last possible drop of my seed, he released me back down ever so gently onto the ceramic ledge of the pisser and as I squinted trying to discern his features in the halflight in spectral silhouette he stepped slowly backward and out through the leather curtains.

When the world finally returned to the pinpoint of the time-space continuum known as the toilet in the Lone Star Saloon in 1992 I stuffed myself back into my pants and rejoined the group which was acting festive and rowdy and bright on the patio. Where you been, said Tucker, out at the edge of the universe? winking and nudging Charlie in the ribs like they were in on it all.

That’s exactly right and I came back just to drink with you clowns, I said, cracking a handful of peanuts and winking back.